She - A Human Being

With the recently concluded "International Women's Day" and the numerous videos that have been going viral, there were hardly any that actually captured the very essence of a woman. As a woman, I feel that the term woman and feminism are highly over rated. By saying this, does this make me any less of a woman or feminist? I hope not.

Today, a woman is at par with her male counterparts. Trust me when I say, gone are the days when women waited and sobbed to seek attention from their partners. A woman today is well dressed because SHE wants to; a woman grooms herself because SHE wants to; a woman chooses to live alone because SHE wants to and not because SHE wasn't "found to be suitable". Yes even today we read heart-wrenching atrocities that a woman is subjected to but I also know of men who are at the receiving end too. It never comes out in the open because men are expected to be stronger among the two and they are expected to deal with it and not be "woman". The term itself is used in such derogatory statements by other women, i.e. "Don't be such a woman, man up". What does that even mean? Where is the celebration of being a woman when another woman thinks low of herself?

Its about time that the term "victim" is not associated with a woman alone. Abuse to anybody, be it male or female, remains as an abuse; Name-calling is bad enough, it does not matter where it is channeled at a male or female. I think it is about time "she" is treated as a human first; it is about time "she" is given the freedom to live by her choices; it is about time "she" is not stereotyped to a particular verb.

I was told by a graceful woman herself - "If a woman feels complete in whatever choices she has made, that is a woman you celebrate". To this, I agree. Like we do not need a particular day to celebrate love, we should ideally not be having a particular day to celebrate women. And, if you really insist on celebrating "us", then do us a favour and let us be - no judgments, no accusations, no derogation.

Until the next year when people suddenly realise how great we are, the "sacrifices" we make, how "worthy" we are and how nobody can live without us, more power to all you lovely women who have against all odds, persisted!

Devaansh

It was a morning of a normal working day in January 2015, when my sister called at my work landline. When the unusual happens (she usually calls me on my mobile) you always think of the negative. My receptionist transferred the line saying, "Pooja is on call", to which I replied, "Which Pooja". Well, that was just to prove how unusual it was. And then she was connected to give me THE BEST news ever. "You are going to become an aunt", she said. It took me a minute to fathom that, and then there was no holding back! I was ecstatic. I was sworn to secrecy but by the end of the day the entire world I think had known about it.
I knew it was a moment that she had been waiting for all her life; to see those double red lines show up on the pregnancy strip. From there started the journey of her motherhood. 10 months! And she had been amazing throughout.
I met her and her big tummy in the summer of 2015 and it was the most heart warmingly emotional vision. I had always dreamed of it. My sister pregnant, my sister as a mother. And to think that I could finally tell her, "My clothes wont fit you". Yes! I had to wait 27 years and her to be pregnant to be able to tell her these very words!
Days and months passed and before we knew it (She definitely knew it ALL), she went into labour and baby D was born. Secretly, though I wanted a baby niece, I was glad it is a baby nephew because I loved the name they had chosen, "Devaansh".
At 5:30 a.m. IST, my very proud mother, called to give me the news. I was an exhilarated aunt, my parents were blessed grandparents and my sister and brother in law were proud parents to the most beautiful baby we had known. Like all the firsts in our lives finds a special place, he being the first first boy, first son, first nephew and first grandchild has ensured that his place is cemented in an even more special place in our lives.
I finally got to see him in a photo hours later and what an overwhelming moment it was. I had to see him in flesh to actually understand the intensity of being an aunt to my sister's son! The most surreal, the most priceless. He is there, as our male muse. To hold, to nurture, to play and to make baby sounds with.
The geographical distance keeps me away during this prime time of his. But thanks to the photos and videos his mother sends me, I atleast get to watch his antics even though that makes me want to leave everything else and go be with him. Oh! He is the best that has happened in 2015.
My Baby D, Devaansh Jay Chandran to the world and rock star to his parents and grandparents. With his birth was born a lot of other beautiful relations and emotions. Thank you Lolo, thank you Baby D! You truly are a "Part of God", divine. 

The Year That Was - 2014

It would probably be an understatement if I say that this year has been the best by far. At the risk of sounding cliched, that is exactly what I want to say - It HAS been the best year by far!! Oh what a year 2014 has been. When I look back, the year started with the "good news" of my marriage being announced to the world. Was that the good part of the 1st day of the year? No. The good part was, I was officially introduced as his fiancee to the friends :) A day I had been waiting for a while, to be known to the world as "his". 

3 months later our family was introduced to another "good news" in the form of my now brother in law :) My sister later got married on the 30th of May. A bitter sweet moment for me because I truly could not imagine a life without her, a house without her nor a bed without her. That's the bond we share - bitter sweet :) Much as I miss her presence, I am truly glad that she found happiness with a good man!

In between all this, there was a trip that my mom & I took to India for two weeks. THE best all girls trip that we have ever been in. Mummy, I can't wait to go on another one with you :)

I moved to a new job, to a new challenge & to childhood because I got employment in a school. Having been a student of a school here, it was a moment of pride to be employed in a school under the same group. It felt like I was going back to where I came from. Yes, not the career option I had in mind for myself but who is to say what is meant to be and not meant to be?

The second half of the year went by as a roller coaster - truly! Before I knew it, it was the 1st of September and I was standing on the mandapam with Surjith surrounded by the family & friends we love. The "sindoor" found its place on my forehead and the "taali" on my neck; I was now a wife, a daughter in law, sister in law, aunt in law - to the best people! That day and the days forward was a whirlwind for us but thanks to the candid photographs and posed ones, it brings back memories of the love that was showered on us. Thank you ALL for being such a support. You know who you all are. 

Settling down with each other as man & wife has been the best bumpy ride ever. But I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything else in the world!

All along this year, I have made some beautiful relationships. Its beautiful because there is no pretense, no judgments & most of all no requirements. We just let it be & that's how we enjoy each other's faults. Thank YOU for that.

And this year, I finally met my self proclaimed Godson, Noel :) The baby who evoked feelings of motherhood in me 2 years back and even today only he has the strong ability to do that. I love you :)

Well, this was my year & trust me when I say, the year 2014 will always be etched in my mind for ALL the right reasons.

Elections 2014 - A Non Political View

DISCLAIMER:

The below contents have not been written to create any sort of political rage/debate. The writer (yours truly) apologises in advance for any sentiments hurt.

It has been a crazy period of 9 months! 9 months of planning, 9 months of apprehensions, 9 months of labour & 9 months of anticipation. If it wasn’t for the title, many would have mistakenly assumed it to be an article of a mother to be. The emotions though are more or less the same.

9 months back, my parents along with the family of my fiancé fixed the date of our wedding. But more than the date of our wedding, it is the date of 16^th May 2014 that has been imprinted on my mind, all thanks to an avid follower in the form of my fiancé. I have never really been a political person – which means, my opinion & knowledge on this subject is extremely minimal. I have never voted, despite having a voters ID, the same reason as to why I had decided not to criticize the Govt. The elections 2014 changed that perspective.

The frenzy that these elections have created is second to none that this country has seen, or so I would like to believe. Elections 2014 was about one man. It was the first time in years that there came a candidate who knew what he was talking about & there was so much conviction that you were  led to believe every word he spoke. It is no doubt then that this man is who majority of India feels IS the change. There was a point in time where I had wanted the candidate in the current ruling party to be the PM one day because I really believed he had the capabilities of attracting the youth and well, changing the face of the country. Unfortunately, I was in for a rude shock after having followed a few of his campaign speeches, guest speeches & his infamous TV interview.

An unexpected twist though was the party of the common man & the man who led it. It truly was the excitement of an “Aam” citizen who took on the role of a CM only to later decide that leading a state & its people was no child’s play. No, I am not writing him off. Give him another 5 years and he will, I believe, be a tough candidate to contest against. Now that, I am looking forward to.

Apart from the ecstasy created by the parties & its candidates, the NEED to vote became massive especially amongst the youth. As an onlooker, for me, it did not mean that the citizens of India were being responsible. What it actually meant was that the youth was only living upto the peer pressure of getting a selfie flaunting the inked finger so as to upload it on various social networking sites!

All said & done, the Elections 2014, created a furore among media circles, social circles and at all possible awkward silences. And to those of you who have voted, for reasons best known to you, I just hope you have clicked the right button – the button of change, the button to a non – corrupt India and above all the button to a democracy in its true sense.

Ati Sarvatra Varjayet

A term in Sanskrit that I came across while reading the third book of the infamous Shiva Trilogy. When translated, it means, "Excess should be avoided". What a marvelously simple statement yet the effect of it - intense. Since time immemorial, one has heard about man being greedy - greedy for all that is within his reach and beyond.

I used to be under the impression that it is this present time and age that has left man wanting for more - more time, more money, more space. more freedom, more of everything. But this sloka only proves that the "want for more" is not a time thing. It was born with man and will probably end with him. It is this want for more that ruins one's peace of mind, health and realising the simple pleasures of life. In our quest for a "more" comfortable life, we push ourselves to an extent that even we fail to recognize. Well! that is precisely when you should stop.

Personally, my need for more kills the happiness that I would have otherwise felt in my daily life. More attention, more communication and many more of such emotions. It is my "more" mode that probably spoils the moment many a times. Perhaps the fact that I do understand where the problem lies is why this term of excess be avoided caught my attention to this degree.

To know what to want, when to want it and the right amount of wanting it will definitely come with practice. Easier said than done especially when one has lived one's life in a certain way and to change that to adapt to a more cordial living can be quite a task. Maybe that is why it is essential to understand the deeper meaning of "Ati Sarvatra Varjayet" so that the journey of life which is much more important than the destination, gets an opportunity to reveal its purpose.

Real, Fake or an Illusion?

It is indeed a very funny world that we live in. We are all made up of the XY chromosomes yet the difference in each one of us from the other is plenty. At most times, it is these difference that brings us together & later its these very differences that sets us apart. And how!

In all these years of my very colorful existence, I have had the privilege of meeting people made up of the very same chromosomes as I and believe it or not, I have reached a conclusion that there is a chromosome Z as well in most people. I would like to be of the opinion that it is the Z chromosome which is responsible for the effortless "illusion" effect some people have the ability to create for themselves.

There are always three sides in a human being - the real side, the not so real side and a side that we are made to believe is real. Unfortunately, more often than I would have liked, the people I come across falls under the third category. Now this is a category that is filled with dream like people. The flawless, the ever loving, the too good to be true types. Actually yes! they are TOO good to be true. No, I am not being skeptical, merely observing that there are NO flawless people. Each and every being has some flaws or the other which makes them the real deal.

I used to be on the look out for that perfect person or the perfect people to hang out with. But the more I got closer to such beings, I started respecting the flaws in others. Atleast with them, I knew what I was getting into. Atleast with them, I was sure I would be grounded to reality sans the sugar coating. And with them, I also started realising that the facade of illusion eventually stripes off revealing one's real self making me believe that it definitely is not a "big bad world" out there. There definitely is place for genuinely flawed people.

On Turning 25...

The time - 8:40 pm, the year - 1988, the day - Thursday and the date 05.05. Well yes, that was the date and month given to my mother to bring me out into this world. And rightly so, I did come out on that very day though my mother enjoys talking about it as, "You came out after eating all the three meals of the day.. Even dinner"! Ah well, that habit has stuck on - that of eating. Its 25 years since the 5th of May 1988. A quarter of a century in this planet; living the good and the bad. Learning from the mistakes and ensuring that it is not repeated. Been quite a journey this 25 years. Met a lot of fellow human beings - some of them who remained just human beings while some of them became my soul mates/rock stars and a few others who found space as my extended family. I am thankful to each one of them. Yes even to those who remained as "just fellow human beings".
You would think 25 years is time enough to know the good from the bad. But if I was that aware, what would be the fun of life, isn't it? I never refused to learn, I just refused to learn it ALL at once! I am still in the process of learning how to be patient, learning how to be selfless, learning how to be understanding and most importantly learning how to be in peace with myself. The contributions of my family in molding these 25 years of my life is immense. If it wasn't for their constant support and encouragement in letting me do what I am truly passionate about, it would have been a tad bit difficult to realize those dreams and aspirations. Grateful for letting me be an individual; even more grateful for trusting me enough to pursue the choices.
25 years! In a way it is a long time to know the good from the bad. But hey! I never promised to be perfect; I only promised I would be a true incarnation of the person I am. Some wisdom, isn't it? All thanks to the painful way of turning wise (read wisdom tooth) on my 25th year.
Last but not the least, turning 25 does not make me feel any different from when I was 23 or 24. Apart from the constant reminder of, "You are 25! When do you plan to be married?" or "At your age, I was already a mother". The response to the aforementioned jibes would probably come as a blog titled, "On Turning 26". Until then, I am going to enjoy having turned 25 and my new found wisdom!