A love story that never ended...

"I love you too. We will work things out". A dream statement for any person who is hopelessly in love or for somebody who has put their faith and trust in their partner. A statement that promises a happy ending. But in the case of this story, there never was an ending.
When i told my cousin of this title, she asked me who the protagonist was and I replied, "Me". She probed me a little and asked, "the male protagonist" and I replied, "whoever knows me will know who the male is and for those of them who don't, the story is enough". So stop looking for name starting from...Now! I have never wanted to blog about something that was too personal but I guessed I would rather write about it and let people know, "We have all been through this".
A break up is never easy. You break up because you know things are not going well between the 2 people involved. "The best thing about a break up is the break up itself" (according to Indian film star Ranbir Kapoor). But what happens if everything was going well? That brings me to my next question, the worst thing about a break up? When the person involved is left to assume that it is over. I have been the "victim" twice. At least the first time, I was "informed" about it via a text message much later. The second time round, I thought dating a matured man would save me these sort of juvenile behaviour but to my surprise i realised, it is not about the age but just the fact that "Men get cold feet..Period"! By the lack of interest in responding to my calls and messages, I knew it in my heart and mind alike that it was reaching the end of its validity period. Contrary to the Sim card where you can recharge, I knew there was nothing i could do to recharge the interest. But i never accepted it. I hoped, i prayed, I waited. I was in love for Pete's sake, I could not let go!
Today, I have better sense. I do not want sympathies. I did fine without it and I am still doing well. I have moved on. But I was in love and maybe that is why I am not sorry that it still hurts. I never had an answer to a question to myself and the people around me, "What did i do to deserve this"? Today, I have an answer, "He did not do anything to deserve me". Ending my life or doing crazy things was never an option. I wanted to live, fall in love again. 
I never fell out of love nor did I stop loving him. He just chose to deny himself of my love and leave our story with a lot of blank pages.

Love you till the end....

I take immense pride today in talking about a man who is not only my role model but also a role model for many others..My father! Father's are the most understated people in one's life. A silent member of the family who is looked upon in times of financial crisis or when things are messed up. But to me, my father is somebody who has been a part of lots of firsts in my life. The first man I have loved unconditionally and the first man I have ever danced with. Like every man, my father is a proud man too. But unlike every man, he is an epitome of patience, wisdom and positivity. As my sister and I were growing up, he was growing up with us too. From a father who wanted to protect his daughters from the big bad ugly world to the father who let us live our lives in our own terms yet never failing to catch us when we stumbled upon the mistakes we committed. Never the one to tell us "I told you so" he has always the one to tell us "Such is life, and you need to face it with courage". My father has been my knight in shining armour who has fought all odds to give us the best and protect us from the worst yet making us independent. Mother's love is definitely unconditional but Father's love, for me, is even beyond unconditional. 
There are numerous sayings on how God couldn't be everywhere and that is when he created mothers. Always made me wonder if I had to say something about my father in a sentence,what it would be. I now know what I would say. It would be "God had to personify himself and so he created my father". Happy Father's Day Acha!
I will love you till the end. 

Memories...That make Life!

As I pack my bag to enter the beginning of yet another phase in my life, I look back at the 10 months of my life that I spent in search of peace, happiness and freedom. What i eventually did find is love, respect and myself! I had lost myself somewhere in my quest for a better life. These 10 months has been a learning experience that has made me a better person and most importantly got me to understand my father better! I am taking along with me some of the most wonderful moments that I have been a part of with the people I love. Conversations over lunch, dinners and drives by the beach, sitting in absolute silence, arguments over petty issues, shopping, movies and ice creams on winter evenings! Quality time with the people I love was much needed to understand my relationship with them better. I know I am never going to get these moments back even if I want to. But I am wrapping these precious moments as memories and taking it along with me. They are my Life guru's that will remind me of my blessed past and beckon me to a wonderful future which is the result of a beautiful present.

How I know my Mother...

Its been 21 years and 10 months since I know "the" most wonderful human being in my life. The woman who gave me a chance to experience the magic called life. My mother! She has been the silent support for me throughout these years and has always ensured that even I voice my opinions on matters close to both our hearts. The woman I turn to in despair, happiness, anxiety and ecstasy. When i was younger, she held my hand and taught me to walk on the right path.  As i grew older, she let me find the path that i thought was right. She let me commit mistakes in the belief that I will learn from them and emerge as a woman who would be ready to take on the challenges that life would throw at me. She let me be independent in my thoughts and encouraged me to come to terms with the person I am.She taught me there is no stronger emotion than love and to love unconditionally is a virtue. She taught me honesty will always take me places and that trust in yourself and others is most important. Today, if I am loved and treasured by the people around me, it is because of the one woman I love and treasure the most.My mother!
They say, God couldn't be everywhere and so he created mothers. I say, God couldn't epitomise  love, trust, support and strength and so he created My Mother! I don't think I have thanked her enough for being the strength in my life and this is just an attempt to do just that. I love and respect you immensely Ma!Thank you for being "you" and thank you for letting me be "me".

Celebrating Womanhood....

"Behind every successful man is a successful woman". A saying that doesn't seem to have an expiry date. A saying that has the shelf life of time immemorial. But its not just a saying anymore. It is the FACT of life. One individual and various roles. Who better to play them than the species who supposedly comes from Venus and whom the Earthlings refer to as "Women". It is a woman who makes or breaks the family. It is a woman who holds the fort together when the storm decides to pay a visit. It is a woman who people turn to in their times of trouble and need. It is a woman who says that silent prayer for you. It is a woman who cries with you and laughs with you. And it is most definitely a woman who gives that love unconditionally. These days, I have even started to believe that Cupid has to be a woman. Who else loves the game of matchmaking or loves love the way a woman does? The world officially celebrates womanhood on a particular day. But all of you, take each day to thank the women in your life for whatever little they might have contributed to make you a better person. And to all the women, your God's best gift to yourself. Its entirely in your hands to make those efforts worthy!

Find Your Calling...

When i was in the 4th grade, I wanted to go to the US and do my medicine to become a doctor.It was my dream till the 8th grade. In the 9th grade I realised, science and I were never meant to be and so I let go of that dream. I am now pursuing a dream I have had since the 11th grade, to be a noted journalist. Supporting me in my varying dreams were my parents who let me decide for myself what I wanted to make of my life. Not everybody(associated with me or not associated with me)are lucky to have parents such as mine. "You have to become an engineer or a doctor. I could not become one, I want you to fulfill my dream" says the father. The child starts living the dream that the father saw for himself and eventually reaches a saturation point of frustration. What next?The blame game begins. Anger, curses, negative thoughts fills the mind. Why life a life of misery? You might as well live a life where YOUR goals and ambitions are given priority. Belief in yourself is all that it takes to convince whomsoever concerned. At the end of the day, a happy and successful offspring is what makes the parent proud and happy. Find your calling, pursue it, leaving no way for regrets.

30 Random Things About Myself.....

Due to the huge public demand to talk about myself, i have come up with a fun way of doing that.Have written 30 random things about myself so read on.This is the  closest you would get to knowing me up close and personal:)

1. I am a woman in the "REAL" sense of the word.
2. I do not mind telling my real age.
3.I HATE liars.
4. Be yourself and i will love you for that(If your meant to be loved by me that is:) )
5. I love chocolates and i am biiiiig Foodie!
6. You will NEVER see me out on a bad hair day.
7. Friends consider me their Agony Aunt.
8. I require perspective at regular intervals.
9. I am blessed with a wonderful family and absolutely great friends.
10. I love despite the fear of rejection.
11. I am addicted to twitter.
12. I fast for the Indian cricket team when they play an important match.
13. I love writing, reading and dancing.
14. I aspire to be a journalist one day.
15.I am very sensitive when it comes my weight .
16. I dont mind being criticised but u better have a valid point.
17. I HATE people being judgmental.
18. I am a true friend and i respect my friends and their space.
19. I can talk for hours and hours and hours...
20. I dislike people comparing 2 movies of different genres and language!
21. I cant stand people smoking!
22. I have recently developed a disorder called the "Obsessive cleaning disorder".
23. i am allergic to soft toys with fur.So any of you planning to date me,you know what not to give me:)
24. Nandita(nandu bear for me) my friend says i give the best hugs.
25.I am technologically VERY handicapped.
26. I am a night person.
27. I am an out-and-out F.R.I.E.N.D.S addict.
28. I love babies
29. Optimistic when it comes to others life definitely not mine:)
30. I love and respect myself immensely.

For the Love of Reading......

Reading has been a passion from time immemorial. Started with the light Archie comics and Sweet Valley series. Went onto the Enid Blyton's. Took a leap to the Danielle Steele's and Sidney Sheldon's. And now find solace in the Mills & Boons when the men in reality let me down! Books have always been my companion, for the better or for worse. Thankfully,I have been able to connect with the kind of books i read. I realised a little later in life that i enjoy reading books that are on the lighter side and not they heavy ones that keep my thinking cells active for what seems an era! An example of that would be the 2006 recipient of the  Man booker prize"The Inheritance of Loss" by Kiran Desai.Well the Booker prize was what convinced me to put that on my Birthday wish list. But 3 pages into the book and i realised, if i had to understand the book then i would definitely need an Oxford's or Webster's dictionary by my side. MORAL:" Never judge the book and your capability of understanding it by the accolades it receives". For me a book is a medium by which i relax, unwind. I can discuss a book alright, but not be judgmental. I have always been in shock when somebody has confessed to me that they do not enjoy reading. Never been able to understand HOW that could ever be. But as i grew older, I realised it is just how some people are and the sooner i accept it, the better. I am also aware that some of you reading this right now are not voracious readers, but well, it is a start. Today, you might be reading this for the sake of reading. But someday, just someday, you will do it for the love of reading!

Marriages Are Made In Heaven...REALLY?

They say marriages are made in heaven so one would expect it to be effortlessly blissful unless heaven had its description changed. But a marriage is far from being blissful if the 2 involved does not put in equal efforts. Marriage is the ultimate stage of commitment when it comes to relationships. You cannot choose your family but its upto you to decide with whom you want to have the family with. When people around me proudly say "We had a 3months pre engagement period and i knew it then that we were meant to be together" or "We had a 6months engagement period and i knew that he/she was certainly the one for me", I would assume that 3 months are enough to know a person at the basic level. But many of the married couples around me, who by the way have said the above statements, having a married life far from being the one made in heaven, maybe its time I think differently! A very famous bollywood director once said in one of his tweets in Twitter,"I have decided to gift any married couple only after 5years of their marriage". Well I don't agree with that! There are couples who realise that they are not meant to be together after about 15years of marriage.What would Mr.Director have to say to that? I would rather wait a long time to find a man rather than get pressurised and end up in a divorce. This takes me back to the times my parents were brought up in. The word "divorce" had no existence in their dictionary of life. They learnt to accept their differences and learnt to deal with it in order to create a stable life for their children. They were selfless in their giving and maybe we are selfish. Maybe its time we stopped ridiculing their thoughts and beliefs and inculcated some of that in our lives since our thoughts and beliefs in this aspect does not seem to be getting us anywhere.
Marriages maybe made in heaven but it definitely takes the efforts of 2 people living on earth to make it successful!

The Mystery Of Chemistry...

A lot of times it so happens,that 2 people could share the purest form of platonic relationship yet the chemistry they share would be so strong that people find it difficult to believe the same.Quite strangely,it is very rare for a "couple" to share a strong chemistry as compared to the chemistry that 2 friends could be having.Has happened to me as well.People used to mistake a friend of mine and me to be in a relationship,when in reality we were nothing but really good friends.And i mean that in the actual sense!I used to find it ridiculous that people could actually think otherwise.But when i started to analyse the reason ,i realised that it had nothing to do with my friend or me belonging to the opposite sex nor did it have anything to do with the attraction or bonding in the physical sense either.It had a lot to do with the emotional bonding and understanding that he and i shared.If i had to crack the law of chemistry in a sentence i would say "chemistry is the immense comfort level and great rapport that 2 people share".So for those of you who have failed in creating that "sizzling"chemistry,maybe its time to stop resorting to those "high-end"techniques and start from the basics!

That One Person...

"We come into this world alone and die alone so Never make your life an open book",an advice that we constantly hear from concerned family members.An advice that i have taken up quite seriously.Have always maintained an amount of privacy and never made my life an open book.But,having said that,I feel it is very important to have that one person with whom you can share your existence with.That one person who knows the good and bad of your life and would NEVER judge you based on the incidents of your life.A person who trusts you enough to give you your space yet lend a listening ear without any questions asked.A person who will always be there to share your "Dear diary"moments with you!It could be your parent,sibling,partner,friend,relative,pen pal or even your diary..And people who have such a person should think of themselves as quite fortunate and I consider myself in that league since i have that one person with whom i share my life..That one person with whom i have to wear no facade and get to be myself with absolutely no fear of judgement..That one person whom i would go on to call as my "SOULMATE"...

Ambassadors Of The Country-No Right To Personal Lives?

I have always wondered why there is no line drawn between the professional and personal lives of people.And then i realised there is definitely a line drawn but it is a "fine thin line".A line that is very easy to be crossed leading to unnecessary media coverage and controversies.Well,the former is absent from the lives of common people like you and me.Thank God for small mercies!But what about those whose lives are under the constant media scanner?The latest John Terry ( Ex Captain of the England football team) controversy inspired me to write this post.Makes me wonder what the personal life of a sportsperson or an actor have got to do with their profession.Agreed that they are the 2 categories of people considered as the Ambassadors of their respective countries.But in all fairness it is not because of a John Terry or a Tiger Woods that numerous men are indulging in extra marital affairs.Humorous as it may seem,a John Terry or Tiger Woods with another woman is termed as "unfaithfulness" but a Brad Pitt or Saif Ali Khan with another woman is termed as "love"!!Come on now.By stripping them off their status is not going to reduce the number of extra marital affairs (which by the way never happened in the case of the latter group.Wonder why though!).These are the people who play for our countries and who entertain us respectively.So let us just sit back and judge them on that and not on their personal lives which by the way is not perfect for any of us!

An Emotion Called "LOVE"

I was asked(by a close cousin) to make my blog posts a little more personal.I pondered over it and realised it is just not me to publish my life story.And then he said "maybe about something or somebody special".Now that could be done,I thought.I don't think i would have done justice if i had written about that somebody special,so then i decided to write about an emotion that is special to me.An emotion called "LOVE".Love has been given various definitions by people all over the world.The Oxford defines it as "a warm liking or affectionate".But for me love is comfort,compatibility and trust.I could be affectionate to a lot of them or have a warm liking towards anybody.But for me Love is too heavy an emotion to be shared randomly.And by this I mean "love"in relation to parents,siblings,friends and partner.I can never HATE a person I have once loved irrespective of all the bad deeds they could have done to me.That could be because ,it takes me long to love somebody and i want to live a life with fond memories about them.Love is an emotion that i believe should be given the freedom to surface.This is the month of Love and as a parting note I would say "Let the love surface even if there is a fear of rejection".

COLOR INDIFFERENCE

A very recent article in the local newspaper caught my attention.It was about women in various parts of India who were using the ointment betnovate to lighten their skin color.After reading the article it actually got me thinking about the color indifference that is shown within our country(India) itself.People of the darker skin would do anything to lighten their skin color.Go to any extremes and this was an article that actually proved it.For people in India beautiful is fair.They forget that being dark or fair is not beauty and i wonder who ever told them that dark people cant be beautiful.And this is not just within those in the uneducated category.It even applies to the people who are educated.In the market today there are different skin whitening creams.There are advertisements that are aired showing prospective brides who are rejected because of their colour.There was even an ad that was aired where a young girl wanted to be a cricket commentator and she realises her dreams by using a whitening cream.Wonder what the color had anything to do with being a cricket commentator.Didnt you have to name the game to be one?It naturally has a negative effect on the people watching it and especially if they are on the darker side.And endorsing them are celebrities whose every move is closely followed by the people and they have the utmost effect on the minds of the people.Its shocking to see celebrities like Priyanka Chopra(former Miss World)endorsing such a product.Even in films,if there is a dark person then he is either a beggar or from a poor family.Cant a rich person be dark?Cant the most powerful person be dark?I dont think i need to give examples here to prove my point.My family which includes my father,my mother and my sister are all on the lighter side and i am the odd one out.This never really made any difference to me because my family has never ridiculed me or made me feel inferior because of my color.The day it did have an ill effect on me was when a grand aunt pointed out to me"you look exactly like your father..except for the color..what a pity".Pity???I dont think so but it did get me thinking and i did have my share of whitening creams on my dressing table.Statements like"she is beautiful,she is fair"and "she is beautiful even though she is dark"disturbs me.Why do people believe that dark people cant be beautiful?The latter statement obviously holds my point.

When Indian students in Australia are attacked in the name of racism a hue and cry is made about it and the Government is made to intervene.What is happening in our country is no less than racism itself.But none will accept it.I wonder what steps the Government would take to eradicate the "color indifference"that prevails in our country.

The Day I Bid Adieu 2 Chennai!

 Been in Chennai for 5 years!Wouldnt call it long as i never realised the day my life in Chennai came to an end.And its been 8months since i left that place!The day i had to leave Chennai,it took me back to the year 2004 when i was preparing myself to start a life in Chennai.The one thing common between the 2 periods were the mixed emotions making their presence felt within me.8 months back I was looking forward to spending quality time with my parents,was looking forward to the break that i had longed for but was certainly not looking forward to a life a sea away from friends.Chennai has given me a lot in terms of experiences,memories,friends,LOVE!A place that taught me to be independent and face the world with confidence.A place that taught me the true meaning of the saying"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder".A place that taught me that life is always what you make of it and what you want from it.And finally it was a place that created a lot of "FIRSTS"in my life!It was time to bid farewell to this city.A city that moulded me into a woman.Thank you chennai for u have given me experiences to learn from,memories to cherish and friends to treasure for life....

BLOGGING:A Medium to Show off Or Express?

A very recent conversation with a good friend of mine Gijo gave birth to my 1st topic as a Blogger.In a way this conversation was the very reason I decided to Blog.Before you all reach any sort of conclusion,this is not the only blog that i will be posting!Most of them in Gijo's league feel strongly that a lot of the bloggers namely the famous ones blog just to show off.Show off about what you may ask.Well show off about their achievements,their writing skills and that they are making time to connect with their fans inspite of their busy schedules.With all dues respect to those people(including gijo)I beg to differ completely.For me blogging is a platform where one gets to express their opinions about things happening around them without having to think twice.A blog is "YOUR SPACE" and "YOUR VOICE".You dont need to be politically correct here.A platform where you get to show people who you really are and a space that keeps you in check with you real self.True that blogging has become the "in thing"now and a lot of bloggers are resorting to it only everybody else is doing it irrespective of the fact that they have no clue what or why they are doing it.But hey!There are a lot of genuine ones here as well,who just wants to be heard and not judged!